As life slowly starts to return to normal and the
restrictions of social isolation are eased, I found myself gripped with panic
this past week.
Why is this so? Well, in
many ways life in isolation meant I could safely hide my issues or
at least put them on hold. During the height of the pandemic and when lockdown was at its strictest, I was no longer unique in having to spend a huge
amount of time at home alone, nor was there anything special about being out of
work. If anything, I was happier in isolation. With husband working from home and child learning from home, at least I
had company during the day and didn’t feel so lonely. With the announcement
that kids will return to school full time next week, I’m not jumping for joy as
many parents are, but feeling a little sad and anxious. Sad in the knowledge that I will miss the vision of my daughter with her head phones on, as she quietly completed her on line school work as I potted around the kitchen. Anxious about the fact
that I am still out of work without the excuse of having a child to supervise during the day.
And as
businesses begin re-opening their doors, and workers start going back to their
offices, I panicked. Not only am I out of work, but am now competing with 800
000 others to find work. So, I madly began applying for jobs, even those that I
had deemed unsuitable previously. Out of fear. Fear of becoming a long term
unemployed statistic. I applied for a
position with the Fair Work Ombudsman and was advised that they received 2500
applications, and regrettably, I was unable to progress to the next stage of the
selection process. I applied for a position that was full time even though I
had ruled that out previously, preferring to work part time. I was enticed by the fact that I could work from
home and therefore juggle supervision of child after school with work. But the job itself
does not fill me with joy. And a huge part of wanting to work is to connect
with others and be part of a team not to mention having a change of scene. Not more isolation.
Yet, this is what a lot of work will look like for a long time to come. Ah dilemnas and decisions.
So, take a deep breath, I tell myself. No need to jump right
in. Just as it took a little while to adjust to being at home all the time with the family, it will take a while to adjust to life getting back to normal. It's a process. It won't be automatic. And release...
