It’s been about 10 days since I last posted. My emotions and
thoughts are see-sawing all over the place. I’m
feeling a tonne of gratitude one day, (for gorgeous weather, excellent
back yard, no serious financial stress, having the company of my little family)
the next, I’m riddled with angst, (am I ever going to get a job??? My throat
feels odd, I must have the virus and my body won’t cope with it…) then
frustration, (How could I have forgotten to buy frozen peas??) then boredom (
we’ve been playing the same board game every day for weeks) and even guilt, (
for others less fortunate). Such is life living during a pandemic. What I
don’t want to feel, however, is complacent. I can’t help worrying about the
premature easing of social distancing restrictions. As I write, I’ve just heard
that Clovely, Maroubra and Bronte beaches have had to close a day after
reopening as people weren’t exercising and it became dangerously crowded. Anyone with half a brain could have predicted
that. It’s tough and it’s sad but they
shouldn’t have opened them to begin with.
It’s such a fine
balance between being cautious but not so much that you’re obsessing, and not
letting go to the extent that you put yourself and others in danger.
Good weather is the tonic for all ills
One thing I’ve definitely noticed, is my mood is heavily
influenced by the weather. Luckily, right now Autumn in Sydney is probably the
nicest time of the year. Crisp fresh mornings give way to warm, windless days.
I make a point to get outside as much as I can. Yesterday, Austgrid workers
were doing some work in our neighbourhood which meant we had no power for
almost 6 hours. So I went down to the
garage, looked through our camping equipment and found our camper’s kettle. I
took it and a grill plate up to the back yard, lit a campfire and proceeded to
have a delicious lunch and tea. It was the yummiest cheese toastie I’ve had in
a while. And nothing beats the ritual of placing a kettle on the fire and
patiently waiting for the whistle to indicate the water has boiled and pouring
a cup of tea. Then to sit back and watch the bird life and take in the air.
Nothing like it.
So grateful that we moved to this property with a huge back yard. Previously we lived in an apartment. Now that would’ve been a bit more of a challenge at this time.
We played French cricket in the back yard the other day
which was a hoot! Even my 12 year old daughter who needs soooo much persuading
to join in with daggy parents, enjoyed it. We all laughed that real genuine
laugh that comes from playing games. Again, weather was a huge factor as it was
the most perfect of Autumn days.
More creative ways to connect
I’ve been following view from my window. It has a
huge following with over 1 million people posting photos from their windows,
verandahs, porches. Some tell us their stories – occasionally sad and touching.
It’s a bit of a mixed feeling though. Most of the views are stunning with wild
life, paddocks, mountains, lakes etc and therefore those posting are fortunate
souls. What about the poor buggers with crap views? It may make them feel worse,
however, people are so kind with their words of encouragement and remind us of
our common humanity.
The funny/Ironic
I’ve been complaining about there being too many people out
and about in the local area- supposedly “exercising”, ruining my walk as I have
to duck and weave all the time. What I didn’t realise of course, is that I’m
one of them! Ha ha. Perhaps I just need to consider varying my routes and going
at different times of the day.
The bad
My mind was going a bit nuts this week. A physical problem
I’ve had since December flared up again. I kept having to remind myself that my
symptoms pre-date corona virus. I had to hunt out the written info given to me
by my health care professional and realised my symptoms were in fact an exact
match for laryngeal reflux not Covid 19.
The frustrating
Shopping Blues
So, I’ve been saying to my husband for the past few weeks
that I’m done with going to the supermarket. The place terrifies me, or worse,
it feels so normal that I totally forget to take care. The social distancing
rule is a joke here. When you’re focused on finding a particular product,
you’re in your own little world and don’t realise the next person is within
whisper of your face doing exactly the same thing. It’s all very well to pack your own bags but
the sales assistant still handles everything in order to scan it. I’ve done the
auto check out but it really isn’t efficient when you have a large trolley.
Anyhow, I said to hubby, let’s shop fortnightly instead of
weekly and get fresh stuff delivered in between. For us that is a change and it means we need
to make sure we think of everything we need to last for 2 weeks. So what do I
find in the pantry? An empty jar of peanut butter that fooled me as I thought
we didn’t need any. I keep telling my family to please write it on the shopping
list if you know we are low on an item and please do not put it back in the
pantry/fridge if it is empty for God’s sake. Pissed off I am. My plan was to
make peanut butter protein balls to tide us over for health snacks till our
fresh fruit stock was replenished. There’s that idea out the window. Then hubby
observes that his particular cereal has run out so he’ll just pop in to Coles
on Saturday (the very next day after our fresh fruit n veg delivery) and get
some stuff. !!!! Come on guys! Can’t you help me out here? Why didn’t you ask
me to buy extra packets of cereal? Or why can’t you just eat the other cereal
that is in the pantry or have an egg or toast???
We are so spoilt that we just can’t go without our comforts
100% of the time. We have to have every
kind of spread and cheese and not just spaghetti but penne and rigatoni too.
God what about those who live in the country miles away from
any shop? They don’t go back and forth whenever they’ve run out of bloody tea
bags. Worse still, what about those who are not only living during a pandemic,
but don’t have enough to eat, don’t have a roof over their heads and have to
live in fear for their lives due to war?
I know it’s all relative but gee.
Lessons learnt
I guess it’s about adapting and trial and error and it takes
a while to get it right. You have to live through something in order to learn
and understand what’s needed.
According to studies, it takes 3 weeks to change a simple
habit, more like 8 weeks or more to change others.
Let go of perfectionism.
And communicate more often. If we’re in agreement about the
same goals, then we’re more likely to achieve them and there’s less burden on
one member of the family who in turn will feel less resentful.
Let go of blame and judgement. We’re all in the same boat.
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