Gender role expectations

I feel the need to revisit my post of 29/3/20 “life in semi-lockdown”. The part where I described our family as happily operating along traditional lines. What I mean by that is my husband is the paid worker, I’m not in paid employment but undertake domestic duties and am the primary carer of our daughter, aged 12 and the dog (who is old and sick).

The reason a traditional life style works for our family is largely due to my husband and I sharing the same values when it comes to gender equality and the division of work in our home. It was my choice not to work for the moment. I was already unemployed and it made sense to keep job seeking on hold for now.   My husband was willing to support whatever decision I made. Luckily we can afford to live off one wage for a little while longer. (it just means we can’t replace our 17 year old car just yet). Furthermore, my husband pulls his weight around the house.  He does the shopping, washes up after I’ve made dinner, and cooks on the weekends. He isn’t overly fussed about living in a pristine house and would never demand this of me.  If I was to work from home, the bathrooms would probably become a little neglected, there might be a bit of a laundry pile up and our dinners would be simple stir frys and not the 2 hour casseroles I currently make. However, I can’t help wondering, if the both of us were to work from home and if our daughter was very young, or we had several children, how would we manage?  

It was an article I read this morning in the ABC news by Yolande Strengers, sociologist, 6/4/20, that got me thinking.   In it she reports that women are tackling multiple roles – caring for kids, taking on greater amounts of domestic tasks as well as trying to undertake paid work from home. The concern that simmering tensions at home make more families at risk of domestic violence and child abuse is very real – one that society as a whole needs to take responsibility for preventing. That includes employers. She says employers need to adapt, be more flexible and allow workers to spread their work over a period of time as the 9-5 may no longer be effective or appropriate.

The danger of this, however, as she does acknowledge, is that employers may then expect workers to be available at all hours.  This contradicts what the mental health experts are saying is required to stay well whilst working from home. As a social worker, I totally agree, and know the importance of setting boundaries around “work” and “home life”.  For instance, it’s recommended that you knock off by a certain time each day.  Your mind needs to rest. If you are constantly thinking about work, you will burn out, suffer from fatigue and stress.  This manifests itself in insomnia, irritability and other negative behaviours which affect your physical and mental health and relationships suffer. 

The other answer she suggests is that employers need to acknowledge and accept that they can not expect the same level of productivity from their employees at this time. They simply will not get 40 hours.  

I honestly can’t think of any other solution. Except perhaps a nanny – if there was assistance with the cost and if there was sufficient space for another person in the home.

In summary the key themes are:

No single person can possibly work 3 jobs at once. (paid work, domestic work, caring for children).  Stop expecting women to do this.

 Joint responsibility is required between employers and staff to ensure their safety and well being whilst working from home particularly where parenting responsibilities are also being juggled.

This requires flexible and different work practices and expectations by all parties.