Teaching Elderly Parents how to Face Time

I’m so excited about my victory today in this regard!  Remember my post about staying connected with elderly parents (March 22 2020)? I was lamenting the fact that not only could I no longer physically see my parents but they were unable to use Face time methods as they don't understand or remember how to use modern devices.  Well I managed successfully today to have a face time conversation with my 81 year old mother. Who, by the way, has never been to school.

not my mother, but a similar reaction by same aged lady

I also posted her a letter which I still want to continue doing. Its another way to let her know that she's in my thoughts.

Face time apps and methods

I admit it, I'm a techno- phobe, a ludite even. I was the last of my friends to join Face Book. But never have I been more motivated to learn how to use technology to keep me connected to others than right now amidst this pandemic.

There exists a  plethora of different face time apps and options.   I’m sure they all have their relative merits and disadvantages (a good idea for another post!)  but for the average user who simply wants to stay connected to friends and family, it doesn't really matter, as long as we just get started.  Just do it and do it often. 
That's my next challenge - doing more of this. With friends, with parents, with siblings.

Life in semi - lock down

Wow. What a week. So much has happened globally and in every home in our country. 

It seems like ages ago we were having to make difficult decisions about whether or not to pull our daughter out of school, whether to visit elderly parents, or to cancel our Easter holidays yet all this happened just one week ago.

A week ago, the lack of decisive direction from our Federal Government and contradictions between State and Federal Goverment, especially around school attendance, was not great.  We've had to come to our own conclusions, with the Government lagging behind.

But as I write, we’re not yet in full lock down but getting there and rightly so. We are seeing the gradual tightening up of orders around self- isolation and social distancing with increasing restrictions around the number of people that can gather and limited reasons we are permitted to be outside of our homes. Only two can congregate outside, travellers must quarantine in hotels immediately upon arrival, with police enforcement now occuring for those who don't comply. The message is simpler and clearer. About time too.

Our Family in Self isolation

Our little family of 3 has been at home continuously for 11 days now.  Hubby is working from home, our 12 year old is doing home schooling (Year 7) and I’ve decided to put job seeking on hold.We have gone out for groceries, petrol, vet, pharmacy, Post Office and walking the dog. 

We’re operating as a traditional family. It’s weird as I like to think I’m a feminist and hate being financially dependent on someone else, but right now, it's working for us. Everyone knows what they need to do and they just get on with it.  

Schedules, Time tables and Routine

Surprisingly, the first week of home schooling has gone extremely well.  I’m working on a schedule of sorts and am basing it loosely around  my daughter’s school time table.  Basically, the day is divided into segments. All the necessary routine stuff before the working/school day begins at 9am, then the blocks of time before lunch and after lunch. I try and alternate passive with active activities, indoors with outdoor activities. ( see my Tips To stay sane post 20/3/20).
The evening activities are pretty much the same as before but we are playing games most days in the afternoon. We love Catan.  

The relationship between my daughter and I has been better than it has in a  long time this past week. I’ve barely had to do a thing in terms of supervision and she appreciates the trust I have shown in her.

Creative things I did

I cleaned the fridge, whipper snipped the yard, made cheesecake, got back into learning Spanish, started aerobics by You Tube ( I watch Jenny Mc Cleland for low impact aerobics for beginners and seniors as I'm pretty unfit). I am using Face time and group face time for courses and contact with family and friends which is new for me. 

What needs work

My daughter isn’t doing any exercise. She isn’t interested in You Tube exercises by Jo from the UK or anyone else.  I also need to check on her snack intake.  

The other thing that maybe needs a bit more planning and thought are the weekends. We don’t want to be doing the same things that we do during the week. We really don’t want that ground hog day feeling. Weekends needs to be different.  This is difficult when you can no longer go out. I'm working towards physical games outdoors in our back yard. It's a tiered yard, so that rules out some activities.
  

We tried playing Boule in the yard, but I found that boring. We may get a backyard tennis set ( rope with ball tied to a pole) and try French Cricket next weekend. We have been playing Board games almost every day but I need to mix it up a bit as I get bored with the same activity every day.  One idea is to leave the board games to the weekend or rainy days only, don't play them during the week.  Hmmm room for thought.

What irritates me

I haven’t been impressed with the over sensationalism by news media. This morning I turn on the TV and see a red screen with the corona virus cells bobbing around menacingly and great big letters CORONAVIRUS CRISIS. They did the same during the bush fires and every other disaster event. It really is not helping the amount of angst that exists. Yes we need to keep informed but you don’t need to frighten people into panicking. We've seen how counter productive that is with shop hoarding.   And people need to limit how much news they absorb – no need to see the same reports on the hour, just once in the morning and end of day is plenty. 

I worry about the Government boasting about our stats. eg the numbers of newly infected cases were down for 3 days in a row. Whilst we don't want people to panic, we certainly don't want complacency. That is dangerous. 

What makes me smile

Face book and social media has been a great friend. It really puts a smile on my face to read about all the creative ways people are coping. Some of my favourites include the drive by birthdays and acts of kindness like the good Samaritan handing out $100 notes to those in Centrelink queues in Melbourne.  There’s an avalanche of humour too which we need more than ever at this time. As mentioned previously, I love The Shovel.  

To visit or not to visit elderly parents

To visit or not to visit my elderly parents

Last Thursday my father turned 88. It had been 4 weeks since I had last seen him.  I was feeling terribly guilty about not having seen him sooner.  He lives an hour’s drive away with my mum. My brothers and sister live locally to my parents and pop in regularly, which means I don’t have to worry about their practical needs. I was looking forward to seeing them on the Saturday for a family birthday lunch as is our usual custom.

  

Then doubts flooded in. From what I’d read about preventing the spread of the Corona virus, we must behave as though we are carrying the virus since we very well could be. We can be carrying the virus and be asymptomatic then unknowingly pass it on to others including vulnerable elderly individuals.    My dad was concerned about the visit (for our sake, can you believe it)? He felt it best to leave it for a couple of weeks in which time hopefully there’d be a vaccine. I didn’t want to diminish his hopeful outlook but knew this was pure fantasy as it’ll be 12-18 months before that happens. My mum, on the other hand, said things would only get more risky as time went on and cases multiplied, so better to visit now before things got serious.

I rang my siblings.  One said stay the hell away; another said just two visitors at a time, outside, no hugs, wash hands on arrival, keep the visit short.   I was leaning towards visiting but leaving my husband and daughter behind, staying outdoors with full protective garments, and taking my own keep cup. Until… my husband informed me that a second person in the building he works in had the virus. Well that made it clear, I have to stay away.  

Ok. So it’s a necessary for me to stay away from my parents in order to protect them. But for how long? 5 months? Longer? This is unfathomable to me, cruel even.  My husband says better to stay away for 5 months and have my parents live another 5 years than risk making them fataly ill. But I don’t think they have another 5 years. And what kind of life will they be having, cooped up on their own? What of the effect on their mental health if they are cut off from family? Research is clear on the health benefits of being socially connected to others. They've had to say good bye to their beloved Bingo at the club, now this.    

I know there are alternative ways to stay connected. But my parents aren’t computer savvy. We’ve tried to teach them how to use Face Book and Messenger but they just need so much hand holding and they forget what they have learnt. My father had a stroke with some cognitive impairment and it was already challenging for him before this. So we can’t have face time with them via Skype/Whatsap/Face Book messenger etc.

I guess I can only use the means of communicating that they know and trust.

I will keep in contact by telephone – more often.  

I will send letters to them the old fashioned way – by post. Whilst it is no longer the best way to send news or information, there is something to be said for sending little envelopes of love. The unexpected surprise for the receiver, the visceral thrill of touching letter or card, can do a lot to boost someone’s spirits.  It’s an especially nice thing for a grandchild to do for their grandparents and can double up as an activity for a young child.  I once did this as an activity during the school holidays – the grandparents were thrilled.

We do what we can to stay connected.

Auntie Carni's Woes and Tips

Auntie Carni’s Woes

This week I have decided to cancel my weekly review of a Sydney main street. It’s too risky to catch the train and I’m heeding the advice of the health experts to avoid going out unless necessary.

I’ve also decided to suspend my voluntary work which I’d only just started and was really enjoying.  

I did go to a parenting course “Engaging Adolescents” but wondered the whole time whether it was the sensible thing to do. I probably won’t go next week. 

For many months I have been experiencing the negative effects of being socially isolated and unemployed and it was affecting my mental health- so much so that I enlisted the help of Beyond Blue’s New Access Program (which by the way has had to move from face to face appointments to telephone appointments, which is still useful but that’s another excuse for an outing I’ve had to scrap).    😩

My feeling of social isolation began when I moved house 3 years ago and lost that local contact with friends which is so important- the weekly cup of coffee after school drop off, the spontaneous get togethers with the flick of a text message invite. It worsened when I left my job 10 months ago and found myself without purpose, routine or direction as well as having too much time on my own. To make matters worse, along came the bush fires and the hazardous air pollution which caused me to experience terrifying breathing difficulties. I could not leave the house on those very bad days of poor air quality of which there were a good many, or if I did, I wore a mask and was rather worried. The worse thing was being unable to even sit out on the balcony, my previous “happy place”.    

Finally, the rains came, the corn flower blue skies re- emerged and I could take deep delicious breaths of fresh air. I expanded my daily routine by starting my weekly blog reviews,volunteering and taking up courses. My weeks had a semblance of routine, structure and balance.  🎕

Auntie Carni’s Tips

So this hideous pandemic and the necessary discipline of staying at home, has unfortunately left me feeling frustrated, disappointed and dejected as my world has once again shrunk.  On the up side, I have had some experience in spending inordinate amounts of time at home, and have some ideas about what is needed to stay sane.

Although my situation is a little different from those who are working from home, as I am unemployed, parts of this list may still be helpful to others.

1.       Stick to a Routine: Get up at the same time, (ok cut yourself some slack but get up at a reasonable hour.) Have breakfast at the same time, walk the dog and get showered and dressed (don’t stay in PJs all day, you’ll feel like an icky sloth). Make your bed. Still have 3 meals a day and two healthy snacks in between.  Allow plenty of time to prepare a home cooked meal- it’ll be 6pm before you know it.  Go to bed at the same time or close to what you usually would. Remember this virus attacks weak immune systems, so stay strong by getting adequate sleep. 

2.        Keep a balance of passive and active tasks. Eg. Undertake computer activities for a certain amount of time, then switch to undertaking house work.  

3.       Spend time outdoors – even if you take the lap top outside on the balcony, courtyard, garden better still, do a physical outdoor activity eg. Gardening, raking leaves
. 

I’m a keen bird watcher and will happily sit outside and partake in surveys for BirdLife Australia.



4.  Keep connected with others by telephone, skype etc. It could be a work colleague or friend or group of friends. Get creative with how to do this. There are loads of ideas at the moment. I need to work on this one but being cooped up at home is a strong motivator. We are social creatures and need others. 

5.       Stretch and exercise or go for a walk

6.       Undertake one “project” each day that you’ve been putting off eg. Clean the fridge.

7.       Put a limit on how much time you aimlessly lose yourself down the rabbit hole of social media, news etc.  don’t be tempted to turn Netflix on until the afternoon or evening.

8.      Get creative  - if you wanted to learn a language, get crafty, do art, play an instrument, write or try out new recipes,  now's the time to do it. 

9.    Family Fun  If it’ s a non-work day, play a board game or watch a movie with the family and work towards this “treat” by accomplishing other necessary tasks earlier in the day. My brother had a family disco the other night!
Strike a balance between spending time doing singular activities, and time together. 
  10. Read  It's a great indoor activity that you can also take outside to the garden/balcony 

Plan what you will do the next day/days and revisit this plan first thing every morning.

Look at the funny side 😁

One of the best ways for me to release the pressure valve in the face of uncertainty and angst is to find some humour every day.  I love The Shovel ( satirical blog commentary on current affairs).
I also enjoy Netflix comedies like Brooklyn Nine Nine. 

3 take away key words:  Routine, Balance, Creativity 

Visiting Marrickville

Ok this week I didn’t spin the alphabet wheel, I just wanted to review Marrickville as I was going there anyway.

Marrickville is an Inner west suburb of Sydney, on the T3 (orange) Bankstown line.  It takes 11 minutes by train from Central.  

It's an old suburb with plenty of history as well as light industry but what makes it unique is its cultural diversity.   Here you’ll find Greek bakeries sitting alongside Filipino supermarkets, Vietnamese restaurants and shops selling everything from seafood and bok choy, to books and second hand clothes.  Add to that an emerging younger, professional and artistic mix and you have a very groovy cosmopolitan village.

vibrant Streetscape, Marrickville Rd

As you exit Marrickville station you find yourself on Illawarra Rd. Turn left where you’ll find the Hellenic Patisserie – a stalwart of the Greek community. I could not visit Marrickville without a purchase of their delicious almond pastries. It is a treat for the eyes and taste buds this place.  

Greek pastries, Hellenic Patisserie 

 When I think of Marrickville eateries, I think of the supermarket/factory- type restaurants with plastic table cloths and no frills décor but I was thrilled to see the emergence of a much trendier kind of restaurant. Converted semis and bungalows in amongst the residential homes, their tiny spaces crammed with customers spilling out onto the side- walks. These eateries were more like street food shops that you find overseas.  I was intrigued by Ba Oanh and a local assured me its the best food and waved me inside. I watched the women working but the place was full. - Next time.

nothing to hide here inside Ba Oanh

Ba Oanh 

I chose the aptly named VN Street Foods to have lunch.  A shrill voice was heard singing a Vietnamese pop song as I perched myself on a converted milk crate with wooden slab and sat at a low square wooden table.  The large windows and entrance doors left wide open, gave you that outside in feel.  I chose Beef Pho. Love the ritual of adding mint leaves, bean sprouts and a squeeze of lime. The medicinal broth was delicious but I thought the meat tasted a bit weird.  There was a youngish and hip looking crowd here – Vietnamese men wearing berets, a group of Asian friends, a dad and toddler.

Pho VN Street Foods, Illawarra Rd

I walked past plenty of Vietnamese supermarkets that made me want to go home immediately  and cook up a stir fry with all those lush greens.  Just before turning into Marrickville rd was the tiniest Vietnamese shop selling exclusively “pork” rolls. Cute!   

But it isn’t just Vietnamese fare that you’ll find here. Turning into Marrickville Rd, I counted several  hotels, 4 charity shops, an amazingly quirky book shop, Urchin and a gift shop selling creative wares called Hypmotive Hub. I love the arty sculptures atop the building facades and the mosaic tiles on the pavement boasting the suburb’s vibrant cultural community.  There is a touch of grunge about the place and it isn’t exactly beautiful but it is authentic and vibrant. It's starting to look a bit like its neighbouring suburbs of Enmore and Newtown.  I only stuck to the T junction but there is more to see in Marrickville- I may need to do a Part 2. Goody, all the more reason to come again!  

mosaic on pavement Marrickville Rd 

Hypmotive Hub

Urchin Bookstore

 Summary: A vibrant, culturally diverse suburb with great eating options particularly Vietnamese street food and plenty of other shops as well 

visiting Summer Hill

This week the scattegories spinner landed on the letter S.  There are 12 Sydney train stations starting with S.

I chose Summer Hill.

Summer Hill is an inner- western suburb of Sydney about 9kms from the city. It is on the T2 (light blue) Inner west and Leppington line, 12 minutes from Redfern station.  

I love this little village. I lived here in a share house a few decades ago when I was a student, but you wouldn’t be able to do that now- with gentrification the house and rent prices are out of anybody’s reach. It’s hard to believe the transformation of this once daggy “out west” suburb. There was nothing, and I mean nothing there back in the 80’s  except a supermarket. (ok maybe a newsagent, butcher and the pub- not a uni-friendly  pub if you know what I mean).

Mural of Summer Hill in its Plaza

There’s a bit of history in this suburb evidenced by the terraces, architecture and churches. Glad to see they haven’t all been torn down and replaced with sterile apartments as is the case in many other suburbs. Indeed it’s the grunge factor of peeling facades, stain glassed windows, mosaic tiles and rusty old shop signs that give this suburb so much character. So nice to see former milk bars, corner stores and grand terraces converted into cafes, wine bars, medical centres and restaurants.   

Lackey st

Purple Trees

All the action is on Lackey and Smith streets which are on your left as you exit Summer Hill station on the Carlton Cres side.  Immediately on exiting the station I see a cute little corner café on the other side of the road, Purple trees. Its position on the corner, with open door so that I could peer in was most inviting. It had that cosy, warm, urban feel- dogs and all, but I wanted to take a stroll before brunch. On the opposite side of the road was Heritage Coffee Brewers.   

My first stop was a beautiful little gift shop Urban Euphoria. So pleased to see this store is still in business after 12 years. A hand painted stool of a green parrot in the shop window caught my eye followed by other visual treats of brightly coloured planters. (I’m just loving planters at the moment – have you noticed, they’re really on trend). I struck up an easy conversation with the sales assistant which really adds to the shopping experience. Pretty jewellery was for sale and I scored a pair of silver and jade earrings for $25.  I remember this store for its unique cards at the entrance-little works of art on card.

Walking down Lackey st, I see a stunning display of flowers outside a fruit n veg shop. And hanging from the ceiling are strings of garlic and wicker baskets. Inside were deli items and middle eastern food. Proud, friendly store keepers inside.

Next to it was another gift shop The Trading Circle. Aptly chosen music by Putanyo world music  created a relaxed and joyful ambience. The store claims its products are made by women in impoverished countries. Their creative designs use recycled materials.

out front of Fruit n Veg store, Lackey st

inside fruit n vege store, Lackey st

Inside Urban Euphoria 

The Trading Circle with  giftwares made of recycled materials

Further down the street was Plunge 46, packed out with customers. I’ve eaten there before. It’s a large industrial type space selling wholesome food, good service too on that occasion.

Crossing the T junction into Smith st, I got so caught up in the décor of Decolata, both inside and out, that before I knew it I was sitting down and ordering food. This French inspired café was a treat for the senses. The walls were covered in huge black n white pictures, world clocks and French art whilst jazz music softly played. There’s also a garden out back.  I was impressed with the waitress who patiently listened to my coffee needs, totally understood (unlike some people who look at me like I’ve got two heads), and wanted to know what I thought of it once served.  My cappaccino was absolutely bang on perfect. I had a meal too – nothing to rave about but it was generous, tasty and filling. The only thing I didn’t enjoy was that I was the only customer for a while and it felt a bit strange. There was another staff member busying herself behind the counter who gave a bit of a negative vibe.

A couple of doors up from Decolata was a freakshow of a café called Drugstore. The barista was very welcoming and invited me in to take photos even though I wasn’t going to eat there. This place was a bit like the Museum of Contemporary Art. There was a giant glass bowl filled with plastic doll heads, a giant spider climbing the wall, a row of bald mannequin heads, a TV filled with water displaying a doll and playing cards all over the ceiling….

Inside Decolata- a French inspired cafe

brunch at Decolata including delicious cap

Peeking into Drugstore cafe

creatively decorated Drugstore cafe

I liked the way the two cafes have their barista right up front making coffee which is visible from the street, like a theatre box office window. 

There was a dog grooming salon and a Vinnies and the old post office converted into a restaurant, its chimenea sending delicious wafts of smoke in the air. Across the road was Envy, an attractive deli café on the corner.  This one topped the reviews online, so I must come back and check it out.   The Rio had me intrigued. It was closed. They’ve kept the old crumbling façade of what was once a milk bar and it looked totally abandoned till I peered through the window and saw a modern, funky looking bar. Would be nice to have that as your local.

Envy cafe Smith st 

 former milk bar facade, now Rio wine bar

 Smith st, Summer Hill

I popped around to the supermarket which is off the streets and in a plaza- complete with fountain and wall mural on the other side of the car park. Well, that’s the nicest IGA I have ever seen! (With prices to match, iceberg lettuce going for $6). It had a cheese store, bakery, deli and Chinese mini supermarket within a spacious and attractive store.

Fountain in Summer Hill Plaza

speaks for itself, Lackey st Butcher 

Village Patisserie, Lackey st 

On my way back up Lackey st, I popped into the Village Patiserrie, and bought some lamingtons to take home. 

Summary of Summer Hill visit: More than a main street, a quirky little village where old and grungy is celebrated in its numerous rustic cafes and stores.